Pick me! I got my Bachelors at Swarthmore!
So I've been job hunting for about 3 months now. And it sucks, not just because I'm burning through my savings, but because it's a weird feeling to not have a time you have to get up. I've had several morning where I wake up and I'm conscious at 6:30AM, but I stay in bed until 8AM doing email correspondence and following up on job posts (as well as playing Angry Birds and listening to podcasts). And it's because my current "job" is to sit at a computer and try to get someone to give me an interview1. It doesn't matter if I'm at my desk, on a couch, or lying down - so long as I have internet and a computer-like device, I can do what I need.
And that's a weird feeling. I know my roommates2 must think I sleep until 9 most days, but I'm up because when you don't have a job, you also can mix in your required "entertainment" throughout the day - watching a movie, reading a book, intravenous drugs, listening to music... I can stop what I'm doing and satisfy those desires anytime. And I know the grass is always greener and someone at a consulting job I'd love to have is thinking "Man, I wish I could watch back episodes of Wilfred at 1:30 in the afternoon, but I have a price overview for a project I need to review..." but trust me, at least you can do the fun thing after work. At the end of the day, you have money coming in.
But ultimately my day is job applications, which feels funny, because I'll find a position that's perfect for me.
"Wow, I'm a career-oriented problem solver. And I have experience in analysis. And I love sports. And they want a Rhode Island native who said the alphabet backwards at his pre-school graduation and once broke into a weird disco-esque dance during the breakdown of "Stairway to Heaven" at a Junior High dance because he'd never heard it and thought it was a new song3?! That's a perfect job for me!"
And you apply thinking "Wow, those other jobs I was a pretty good fit, but this job description is me to a T! I got this!" But then weeks pass and you don't hear anything because you forget that the market sucks and it turns out there are 396 career-oriented, problem solving sports fans that know the alphabet backwards and don't have a vast enough knowledge of rock ballads to dance to them properly.
You are one of the assholes in a Where's Waldo book who is dressed like Waldo, but almost every time, you are NOT Waldo.
"Oh! I foun... God damnit, nevermind..."
So ultimately you can take one of two approaches:
1. Meet a few candidates you feel you have the best chance with and woo them. Write them sweet nothings via cover letters. Call them frequently for a date/introductory interview. Show up at their office to let them know you're thinking of them. And hope that by showing them you really care more than Clint from Grand Rapids, even though he went to Cornell and has more internship experience than you, they'll pick you because you're the lovable underdog who finally can get the girl.
"Excuse me, but did…um…do you know if finished that financial breakdown for you?"
2. Resume-fuck anything that moves and hope one of them works out.
"I'm sorry, I know I applied to you, but I can't remember your company name..."
But ultimately you have to get lucky. Or have one of their friends introduce you via networking. Or, if you're really desperate, go on Craigslist and take whatever comes along. Just like any relationship, you gotta work at it to have success.
And if you can't get anything to happen, after a while... well, you're screwed either way I guess.
1 - Note to prospective companies: if you want to forgo the interview and give me a job, please don't let that sentence imply I enjoy interviews. I don't. Job please!
2 - Oh, is "roommates" not the correct word to describe my father and stepmother when I moved back home?
3 - I'd never danced before and my dad taught me, but apparently he hadn't danced since the Carter administration and was not the right person to speak to. Thankfully the breakdown didn't last long enough to bust out an elaborate Saturday Night Fever choreography we worked on.
I see you used the updated, edited version of that Waldo screenshot. In the original (and I remember quite well from childhood), the topless lady being tickled by a feather was actually topless, but in your picture she has a green bikini. And yes, I found that much quicker than I found Waldo. Which took a really, really long time.
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