Forewarning before you start checking this blog regularly: I have a terrible track record with blogging.
In the past, I've started 4-5 blogs and they all met the same fate - a slow decline into laziness or loss of interest, a quick surge when enough people in my tiny audience encouraged me to "get back into it" with kind words, and the eventual abandonment, leaving my words floating in Bermuda Triangle that is dead internet pages, left to exist forever, getting commented up by the least discriminating of spambots.
It's really hard to keep a blog going on your own. As far as I can tell, successful blogs take (1) multiple writers, (2) a "parent company" to support the infrastructure and replace writers as they move on, and (3) enough advertising to keep it viable. And that's why I'm always impressed when someone keeps up their work long term, even when they don't make a lot (if any) money. I could link you to some, but if you read blogs, you probably have your favorites already.
But for once I feel like this blog can serve a purpose. I left my previous life in the dust a few months ago. I had spent 5 years in DC, working at jobs I didn't really like, living in a city I didn't really like, and tolerating people I didn't really like1.
I got the bright idea with a close friend to leave my job, the city, and those people in the dust and go do something big. We decided to work our asses off and train to do 10 weeks on the Appalachian Trail. This is a huge undertaking, but let's start in Maine too, since it's easier to get to and we don't have a ton of money. Then, we celebrated leaving DC for two months and never trained, but still tried to do the AT, and a week later we crawled home licking our wounds2. We admit we fucked that up, and started looking for new jobs a couple months earlier than planned.
Except I thought with my advanced degree and work experience I'd be fine. And I wasn't. Now I'm not only a part of the high unemployment rate, but I'm technically there voluntarily because I left a steady paycheck behind. And you know what?
I couldn't be happier.
Yes, I need money. And that could mean temping, working in the service industry again, maybe even going into industries of which I want no part (e.g. finance, sales) because it means a better paycheck. But I've been raised in a household that cherishes planning ahead the way Wilford Brimley is cherished by both people with diabetes and people who like the way he pronounces "diabeetus."3 There was never a point before I got to DC when I didn't know what the next step would be. And so when the next step wasn't clear, I kind of freaked out and got stagnant for a while.
Now I'm embracing it. On Thursday, I leave for the 16 hour drive to Chicago. All I know is where I'm living (thanks to the unbelievable generosity of a couple friends and their families). Beyond that? I know I want a good job that keeps me interested, I want to keep my comedy going, and I want to reignite some passion. I'm hoping this blog is part of #2 and #3 on that list - I hope I can build it out to be where I develop some ideas for standup, sketch, or improv. I hope I can bring in a friend or two to write on it once it's established and give you more content. And I hope the blog can lead to bigger and better things, without becoming a stepping stone left in the dust - podcasts, sketches, promoting some stand-up (if I can sack up enough to get myself back out there after my infamous 1-and-done set about urinals4).
I'm also going to blog/vlog/clog my voyage out to Chicago next week, both here and via Twitter. I'm driving overnight 16 hours, so I'm sure the posts will be nothing but lucid.
But I honestly have no idea what's going to happen. This could be the only post I ever put up here too5.
So join me in embracing the unknown. Just be forewarned that "unknown" also includes the fate of this blog. But I'll do my best to keep it around.
1 - I made a lot of really good friends in DC who I still love to death. This does not apply to you. Some of your friends, perhaps, but not you specifically.
2 - Licking our own wounds, not each others'. Don't be disgusting.
3 - Seriously, I get that "diabeetus" and "Amadeus" sound similar, but there's at least 10 variations of the "Rock Me, Amadeus" spoof with Brimley and it's not THAT close. I would make fun of people for wasting their time on the internet, but I guarantee at some point I will dedicate a large portion of a post to the mediocre '90s sitcom Full House, so lest I be a hypocrite, I'll leave it at that.
4 - Oh, it was brutal. I made a list of the Ten Commandments of Urinal Use. And I nervously shook a piece of paper and awkwardly adjusted my stance every 3 seconds while stumbling through 6 before giving up. Maybe it was the subject matter, which eliminated half my audience in terms of being relatable, or the fact it probably induced an instant eye-roll, or the fact I had the confidence of a prepubescent 14 year old going to take a shower after gym class, but I think only half the crowd managed to give me pity applause because the other half were having conversations to pass the time and didn't notice I left the stage. I would share the set with you if I didn't light it on fire and drink enough to erase it from my memory that night.
5 - Just to ensure that doesn't happen, I'm posting again right now. Also, because this post is all exposition and no humor at all.
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